Have you ever encountered people in your workplace who just bothered you? Ever wished they would just…change? Many of my clients report that at most jobs, they’ve found that there was at least one person who really got under their skin. Of course, a few remain unbothered by anyone, but most people have experienced at least one coworker they find irritating for one reason or another.

So what do you do about that?

First, you can’t change anyone else. You just can’t. Second, you can, however, change yourself. This part is a challenge. In fact, I’ll bet you’re thinking, “Why would *I* have to change? They’re the annoying one!” I have a theory about that. It’s based on the Imago theory of relationships, which (for this situation) posits that the people who grate on us are people who remind us of the negative traits of the people who were the most important in our formative years. That is, who will bug you and how they’ll bug you is related to your childhood, sometimes even your childhood wounds.

That’s why the work I do goes deep! We have to go deep to find the cause of the challenges that face each leader, to understand and manage it. If you do surface-level work, focusing only on strategic or tactical approaches, you’ll still be annoyed and you won’t be nearly as effective as if you did the deeper work. We do the work on YOU so that you don’t have to suffer with the stress of being irritated over and over by the same personality types. We do the work on YOU so that you can be impactful and effective, no matter who you’re working with. And we do the work on YOU because YOU are the only one we can change, and in fact, the only one who will see the great impact of doing this work. You can only change yourself. Might as well get to work